Why I Was Banned*NOTE FROM ALLY: Mortose has felt helpless to the fact that they cannot defend themselves in the forums. I told Mortose that if they wrote a one time defense I would ensure that it was delivered to the group. Mortose can only really see this, so I as that is the case, I would hope that no one here would respond to this post as though Mortose can respond back (but feel free to respond). It's just going to cause more issues in the long run for everyone- but at least they were able to give their best defense they could given the circumstances.
Toxicity to individuals
A. Mortose was toxic to those weak of mind and spirit.
B. Mortose's experiments were dangerous or toxic to those who participated in them.
C. Mortose's existential nihilism and moral bankruptcy lead to it being governed by fear of legal consequences alone, rather than by personal values.
D. Mortose was an addict of its fascinations. It was obsessed with finding the next extreme, the next high and enough drama to distract it from its void existence as a human being.
E. Mortose could not be reasoned with and when it was challenged, it hurled weak insults at its challengers to protect its fragile ego.
F. Mortose was toxic because nothing mattered to it beyond its pleasures and temporary escape from its bankrupt existence. Mortose was a dead thing which sought to steal away the inner light of others, merely to make its existence more livable.
Toxicity to FA
A. Mortose was toxic to FA because its experiments could have caused susceptible individuals to act on their darkest and most depraved desires.
B. Even though Mortose did not advocate criminal activity, its insistence that adults would do as they would do, despite knowing the legal consequences was as good as condoning it.
Agreement With My Ban
I agree that my ban was necessary for the protection of individuals and the integrity of the FA.
What I Understand
A. My experiments were dangerous and often toxic. I was reckless due to my lack of experience and knowledge on many matters.
B. Fear of legal consequences alone is a terrible reason not to break laws.
C. There is nothing gained from preying on those weaker than me.
D. I believe one who chooses to teach is responsible for how those they teach apply that instruction. I had no sense of personal accountability. I taught for the sake of teaching and washed my hands off any responsibility for the result. This was wrong.
What I Have Learned
A. I have learned to value those who offer their time and share their experiences with me.
B. I have learned to value friendships as two sided and living things, rather than material objects to be used for personal gain and then discarded when I no longer view them as lucrative.
C.I have learned that existential nihilism is dangerous and leads to moral bankruptcy.
D. I have learned that morality and law are incredibly important to me.
E. I have learned that not every passion is good to pursue
F. I have learned that while conflict serves a purpose, too much conflict destroys everything and inhibits growth.
G. I have learned that Jedi are not my enemy, neither are Christians, Conservatives, Liberals, Communists, Capitalists... ect. While I might disagree with ideologies or fragments of them, ideologies are not human beings and I will do everything in my authority to never dehumanize a person again, period.
H. I have learned to take criticism, yet not always take criticism personally.
I. I have learned that apathy is often more dangerous than hate.
J. I have learned that my self is ever my greatest work, a work which will never be complete. There are always new things to learn, new experiences to have, new people to meet.
K. I have learned that just because someone asks for knowledge, does not mean they are disciplined or mature enough to receive it.
L. I have learned I have caused many to be hurt emotionally and developmentally by my influence and I wish to atone for my actions and lack of actions.
M. I have learned it hurts when one is gossiped about and their reputation is assaulted, especially when they can not speak up.
N. I have learned duty when I decided to remain with my family, since one member of it suffers from a terminal illness and the other member needs my financial and emotional support.
O. I have learned the value of stewardship.
P. I have learned that it is not important to always be right. It is more important to be real and retain integrity as a human being.
Q. I have learned that just because I do not agree with something someone says, does not give me reason to attack them.
R. I have learned to often turn the other cheek, rather than spit venom. Hate solves nothing. It is not empowering to plot revenge, nor does it taste good when revenge is achieved. The entire thing is empty.
S. I have learned that I am not Sith and have nothing in common with Sith. However, I also am not Jedi, since I do everything for myself first and for others second. Even this transformation of myself is for me.
T. I have come to see David as a friend, rather than the enemy I once proclaimed he was when I cursed him and his family. I payed for this, for the record, as I have paid and will continue to pay for all the destructive things I have done.
What will I gain from FA?
I will gain access to a community, an opportunity to atone for my previous wrongs and repair my reputation.
What will I give the FA?
I will give relevant experience, friendship to those who seek to be be friends with me, and relevant talent.
Irrelevant To Ban Personal Data
Contrary to popular opinion, I am not seeking to "take over" the DA. First, this can not be done because the current DA runs on popularity, and second, it is highly likely that many of my values and beliefs now directly conflict with DA ideology.
Also, as the lead of my department once explained... "If you are going to change something in this department, you best have something to replace it with. If a shelf is empty, who will buy nothing?"
What do I have to replace DA ideology with? Nothing its members, Knights and Master's would likely desire?
David is my mentor and friend to me.
However, the way his reputation is being destroyed because of juvenile power plays is upsetting.
David is not violent or a racist. In fact, David would be the type to have assisted in the underground railroad during the time of slavery in The United States, which is something he confessed to me during our communications.
While I hope this has not violated his trust, I will not stand by when my friend's reputation is being destroyed by lies; especially when I know exactly how that feels.
I desire a unanimous vote by the IC (3/3) for my return to the FA. However, should the vote not be unanimous, I desire a reason given for the ban remaining with full consideration given to all I have written here as well as what it would take for me to EVER be unbanned.
Thank you for your consideration,